"But he's the right one, the one & only one, the one that I am destined to marry," my friend whinned in a tearful voice over the phone.
Her 'one and only guy' had gone dancing with someone else.
I tried to calm her down.
I really don't believe there is just one person for each of us. What there is is one person that is right for today. Tomorrow? Well, it will take care of itself.
Never settle for the first 'love' that comes along. Just enjoy it and let it last as long as it may. Learn from it. Take the good parts, leave the bad.
Rinse, repeat. Clean and learn.
We had a glass or two of wine, a light dinner tonight and talked. With the next sunrise or two I know she would let the 'one and only' go and find another when it is right. He wasn't good enough for her. He wasn't ready. Nor was she; but I couldn't tell her that. All I could really do was be there for my friend.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Can you really change a guy?
Today a friend asked me whether I thought her guy would change . . . . well, she asked in a sort of round-about fashion . . . but I figure that is really what she meant.
My answer? Nope! If his momma didn't teach him to behave any better when he was 5 or 10, then he probably isn't going to change at 28 or 30. As the old saying goes - "You have to recognize you have a problem before you can correct it." Most guys are just too stubborn and have been taught by their mothers (yes, us girls!) that they should be waited on hand & foot. That we should be available when they call. It is just that simple. And it really is all our own faults.
So, my advice to her was to accept him on his terms. If you want to spend time with him, do . . . . . . but, don't expect him to magically start behaving like a gentleman and a team player. Those guys are few and far between. When he calls and leaves a "Ws'up" message, after ignoring you for a week & a half after a night of great sex, don't . . . I repeat, don't call him back right away. Let him stew. After all, he flat out disappeared for 10 days and now . . . . he needs some company?
So, I asked her . . . "how crazy are you about this guy?" "Not really, just would like to spend some time with him . . . the sex thing, you know?"
Advice. Make him sweat a little. He wants sex, make him work for it. Don't be at his beck & call. Don't ever be any one's "beck & call girl."
My answer? Nope! If his momma didn't teach him to behave any better when he was 5 or 10, then he probably isn't going to change at 28 or 30. As the old saying goes - "You have to recognize you have a problem before you can correct it." Most guys are just too stubborn and have been taught by their mothers (yes, us girls!) that they should be waited on hand & foot. That we should be available when they call. It is just that simple. And it really is all our own faults.
So, my advice to her was to accept him on his terms. If you want to spend time with him, do . . . . . . but, don't expect him to magically start behaving like a gentleman and a team player. Those guys are few and far between. When he calls and leaves a "Ws'up" message, after ignoring you for a week & a half after a night of great sex, don't . . . I repeat, don't call him back right away. Let him stew. After all, he flat out disappeared for 10 days and now . . . . he needs some company?
So, I asked her . . . "how crazy are you about this guy?" "Not really, just would like to spend some time with him . . . the sex thing, you know?"
Advice. Make him sweat a little. He wants sex, make him work for it. Don't be at his beck & call. Don't ever be any one's "beck & call girl."
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)